Funny or Die

Written by Bill Dawes on . Posted in Blog

Hey guys,
Sorry I haven’t written a blog in a while. The reasons why not are the following:

a) life
b) laziness
c) see a

Also, I got a fancy new IMAC, but for some reason, I can’t use advanced editor and ergo have to post in this measly little font without bold type. I guess it’s the opposite, so it would technically be cowardly type. For my retarded fans (sorry, I should be PC: fans who are mentally handicapped retards), I apologize and hope you can stick with me through the rest of this.

Forthcoming, there will be a blog about my two favorite subjects — my penis and comedy. Unfortunately for me, the two things seem to be inextricably linked, but such is life. Rest assured, the blog will be juicy and scandalous and titillating and there will NOT be a plug imbedded in it.

THIS blog however is indeed a plug blog — a plog.

My assistant (he’s cute, 8 years old, and also makes great Nikes) recently put a video on and I really need you guys — retards and non-retards alike — to help me out by going there and voting ‘funny’ and/or posting a comment.

You don’t have to watch the whole fucking thing — that shit is loooooooooooonnnng — but if you could show me a little love with a view, vote, and comment, that’d be amazing.

My goal is to get some attention from the folks there so I can do what I really want to do and post several short films of mine (i.e., porn)

For the helmet-headed tardos (i.e. family members) I will underline it and make it clickable:


So, go, click, and vote! Don’t vote ‘die’ or a grandmother baking an apple pie will be murdered with a kitten.

Comments (6)

  • Ryan Holiday


    I embedded it in the post. It’s easy to undo if you didn’t want that.


  • Andrew McMillen


    Hilarious set dude. You’re not dying by my mousy-clicky thing.


  • Mister White


    The sound quality is shite. Is there anywhere else we can see your stand up?


  • Brian Winters


    Go kick your 8 year-old retart assistant please cause I can’t hear shite. All I can hear is lots of giggling.


  • BDM


    You had me laughing the whole time man.

    A question though – how much of the audience interaction was scripted and how much was improved? Did you plan on calling someone’s boobs “fake Jew boobs” or did you just see them and bring that out? Do you have a bunch of scripted stuff in case you see certain things in the audience?

    And how do you get that energized on stage – or are you just a person who is naturally like that?

    Awesome stuff dude.


  • Mark T


    Holy shit that was HILARIOUS!

    top effort man. VERY well done.


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